Well, I stopped posting for a bit there. Once I started stimming I felt like time just flew by. I didn't stim that well. My right ovary responded well with about 12 follicles (7 of those above 15mm). The left girl didn't feel like joining the party though. At the end of the day, they had my trigger after 10 days of stimming.
I had ER on 9/12. The Man had to have TESE (testicular sperm extraction) - not fun to have a ball biopsy. He was such a great guy about the whole thing though. He didn't even take the drugs! He had one shot for local numbing, but didn't take the IV. Crazy man. They ended up getting 9 eggs from me. We were pretty useless the rest of the day. I was really surprised how sore and miserable I was. I thought the procedure would be a bit uncomfortable, but the post pain was much worse.
I got the call 2 days later that 7 of the 9 fertilized. This was great news since we had to do ICSI on all of them. They told me we were on target for a 5 day transfer.
I went in for ET on 9/17. The Man and I were still wavering on transfering one or two. When I got there though, the Doc told me that only 2 of the 7 made it to Blastocyst by that day. I took that as a sign and figured I better trasnfer both of them! So, Doc said "sounds good - expect twins" - with a wink. I leaned back and enjoyed being impregnated.
Then the dreaded 2 week wait (2WW) started. The first 7 days I was awesome... now worries, no stress. Then on 8 days past the transfer I started to get antsy. I needed to know. I started Peeing on a stick (POAS) on day 8 and for the next 3 days after that. All of the tests were negative. Not a great feeling. I went in for my bloodtest on 9/29. Even though I knew it was negative (based on my narotic home testing) I was still carrying this sliver of hope. However, I got to the office after the bloodtest and found that I had started my period. That shot that hope out the door. A few hours later my favorite nurse called and told me the negative news.
I expected it, but it didn't make it easier. I spent that day feeling bad for myself. The next day I woke up with a great attitude. I figure you can't get too disappointed after 1 try ... get back on that horse! I called the RE and said ... get me in to see you ... we need to talk next steps and I'm not waiting another month. He laughed and said to come in tomorrow for a chat.
At the end of the day ... this is a crappy, stressful, very complex process. It's a science that has no rhyme or reason and I accept that. I'm not a quitter. In fact, that was the sweetest thing The Man said to me ... he leaned over that night we found out definitely and whispered in my ear "we'll get there ... we've never quit before." I don't know why, but that just melted my heart. Love the guy!
I'm feeling good and ready for round two ... bring on the baby!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
IVF Stimming
Well, I started stimming ... one week away from having egg retrieval! I'm taking three shots a day in the stomach. It's actually not so bad - I thought this would be the worst part, but I think the waiting beats everything.
I'm now on .5cc Lupron, 150 Follistm, and 75 Repronex. It's not bad at all, other than the Repronex is a bit sore about two hours after the shot. I only have to do this until next Monday and then I go in and find out what exact day I'll have the retrieval day.
This whole thing really went so fast! Now I'm just trying not to think about the what if ... what if this doesn't work - I don't get pregnant. Actually, the scarier thing to me is getting pregnant and then losing it. I just can't imagine anything worse. I know so many brave, strong women go thru that ... I just find it terrifying. I also know it's natures way of making sure your body is ready to carry and that it's the best embryo possible. blah, blah .. doesn't make it easier.
I think The Man is getting a bit more nervous about the TESE (testicular sperm extraction) operation for next week. Hell, I would be if I was him. Hopefully it isn't too terrible.
Now the wait til next Monday .....
I'm now on .5cc Lupron, 150 Follistm, and 75 Repronex. It's not bad at all, other than the Repronex is a bit sore about two hours after the shot. I only have to do this until next Monday and then I go in and find out what exact day I'll have the retrieval day.
This whole thing really went so fast! Now I'm just trying not to think about the what if ... what if this doesn't work - I don't get pregnant. Actually, the scarier thing to me is getting pregnant and then losing it. I just can't imagine anything worse. I know so many brave, strong women go thru that ... I just find it terrifying. I also know it's natures way of making sure your body is ready to carry and that it's the best embryo possible. blah, blah .. doesn't make it easier.
I think The Man is getting a bit more nervous about the TESE (testicular sperm extraction) operation for next week. Hell, I would be if I was him. Hopefully it isn't too terrible.
Now the wait til next Monday .....
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The IVF Road
Well, we've moved pretty fast with this in-vitro ferilization decision. I'm so excited about it. I didn't leave The Man much choice though ... he could attempt a Vasectomy Reversal with possibly not much success rate based on time and the Dr.'s findings - or - we jump into IVF and pump me full of drugs. He was not fond of this decision right away and felt like he should take the brunt of the pain (since it was him that had the V). He didn't want to see me shooting up with all those drugs with a small (45%) chance of pregnancy. I'm a planner though - so on we go.
Our Journey is moving fast ... I'll catch up here since I just started this ...
July 18th - First IVF consult. This included a full interview, ultrasound, mock-transfer (putting the little "fake" embryo's back in), and physical. They found at that time that I had 15 follies on the right and 7 on the left. I also found out at this time that I have "a dainty womb". Yes, that was a direct quote from the RE Dr. I thought it was cute at first until I went home and researched that. They also noticed on the ultrasound that my uterus had a slight septum (indent on it). They asked me to come in for a hysteroscopy on August 11th.
July 28th - AF came
July 31st - Started the BCP's ... once again - and here I thought I'd finally got off them so I could get pregnant. Who knew that I needed to get back on them for that same goal.
August 11th - Hysteroscopy. So, this is a pretty interesting procedure. I had to get an IV and go under a little bit - still conscience and awake, but not all there. They put a tiny 5mm camera up your hoo-hoo and get an amazing look at all those reproductive gadgets we have in there. It was quite cool if I do say so myself. You can see so clearly. I, however, could barely (actually couldn't at all) tell where he was concerned about this "indent" on my uterus though. Then ... without even telling me or The Man he said "there all snipped away". You mean to tell me you are cutting without telling or asking me? Yep, he did. Apparently those little snazzy camera's have micro-operational tools on the end - kind of like scissors. So he took it upon himself to cut away. Then afterward has the nerve to tell me that because he did that he would like me to push back a cycle or two. In my lovely IVF state I said to him "well, I'd have liked you to ask me if you could cut something inside of me, so thanks, but I'll be remaining on this current cycle." The Man looked at me like I was crazy and said "must be the drugs". I told them it wasn't and the RE stomped out of the room. My lovely RN (who I love) laughed at me and said it was my choice and the snip was very tiny - it should heal in time. Of course, The Man was worried that I was taking an even high risk of this not working. Whatever - the ass should have asked me before he started snipping.
August 12th - Yes, I did do some research on if my body would be ready for this IVF cycle before I committed... and I still decided to move full speed ahead. However, in my research I decided to start acupuncture. I read that it can help heal faster, send all the energy to the right places in my body and it is super relaxing.
August 15th - first acupuncture. The initial appointment took 3 hours. The first 90 minutes is a physical review and long interview on everything about you (sleep habits, sinuses, food cravings, stool habits, skin, etc.) They also do a lot of pulse takings and a good look at the ole tongue. It was a great first appointment - I as addicted immediately. Plus, she specializes in fertility enhancement...which made me feel good.
August 17th - started Lupron. I'm happy to say zero side effects for me. Some women have horrible headaches, hot flashes, immediate sweats, cramping, etc. I'm coasting on this drug. It basically throws your body into instant menopause - trying to create a clean slate for you to get on the other drugs. I did get a little spotting after 7 days, but the nurse told me this is perfectly normal.
August 23rd - Last BCP. Some women really complain about these - say they cause huge mood swings and depression - I coast on these too. Could be because I was on them for 16 years straight and never had issues with them.
August 25th - AF came and is still here. She came with a fury too, no cramps or anything, but heavy. Also had my first ultrasound (u/s) to check how I respond to Lupron and if I could start stimming as we planned. It all came back clear. And .. of course my uterus healed perfectly and the Dr said "good choice on proceeding with this cycle". No thanks to him ... I don't hold grudges or anything.... So they gave me the green light to start stimming on 9/1/08 - Labor Day. I get to start Follistm and Repronex ... and continue with the Lupron. Three stabs a day! Who thought someday I'd be excited about that.
So, that's where we are on this IVF road so far. The Man is being so sweet through all of this and I'm so glad I'm responding well with zero effects. Now that I'm caught up on this post, I'll start filling in more detail about this journey.
Our Journey is moving fast ... I'll catch up here since I just started this ...
July 18th - First IVF consult. This included a full interview, ultrasound, mock-transfer (putting the little "fake" embryo's back in), and physical. They found at that time that I had 15 follies on the right and 7 on the left. I also found out at this time that I have "a dainty womb". Yes, that was a direct quote from the RE Dr. I thought it was cute at first until I went home and researched that. They also noticed on the ultrasound that my uterus had a slight septum (indent on it). They asked me to come in for a hysteroscopy on August 11th.
July 28th - AF came
July 31st - Started the BCP's ... once again - and here I thought I'd finally got off them so I could get pregnant. Who knew that I needed to get back on them for that same goal.
August 11th - Hysteroscopy. So, this is a pretty interesting procedure. I had to get an IV and go under a little bit - still conscience and awake, but not all there. They put a tiny 5mm camera up your hoo-hoo and get an amazing look at all those reproductive gadgets we have in there. It was quite cool if I do say so myself. You can see so clearly. I, however, could barely (actually couldn't at all) tell where he was concerned about this "indent" on my uterus though. Then ... without even telling me or The Man he said "there all snipped away". You mean to tell me you are cutting without telling or asking me? Yep, he did. Apparently those little snazzy camera's have micro-operational tools on the end - kind of like scissors. So he took it upon himself to cut away. Then afterward has the nerve to tell me that because he did that he would like me to push back a cycle or two. In my lovely IVF state I said to him "well, I'd have liked you to ask me if you could cut something inside of me, so thanks, but I'll be remaining on this current cycle." The Man looked at me like I was crazy and said "must be the drugs". I told them it wasn't and the RE stomped out of the room. My lovely RN (who I love) laughed at me and said it was my choice and the snip was very tiny - it should heal in time. Of course, The Man was worried that I was taking an even high risk of this not working. Whatever - the ass should have asked me before he started snipping.
August 12th - Yes, I did do some research on if my body would be ready for this IVF cycle before I committed... and I still decided to move full speed ahead. However, in my research I decided to start acupuncture. I read that it can help heal faster, send all the energy to the right places in my body and it is super relaxing.
August 15th - first acupuncture. The initial appointment took 3 hours. The first 90 minutes is a physical review and long interview on everything about you (sleep habits, sinuses, food cravings, stool habits, skin, etc.) They also do a lot of pulse takings and a good look at the ole tongue. It was a great first appointment - I as addicted immediately. Plus, she specializes in fertility enhancement...which made me feel good.
August 17th - started Lupron. I'm happy to say zero side effects for me. Some women have horrible headaches, hot flashes, immediate sweats, cramping, etc. I'm coasting on this drug. It basically throws your body into instant menopause - trying to create a clean slate for you to get on the other drugs. I did get a little spotting after 7 days, but the nurse told me this is perfectly normal.
August 23rd - Last BCP. Some women really complain about these - say they cause huge mood swings and depression - I coast on these too. Could be because I was on them for 16 years straight and never had issues with them.
August 25th - AF came and is still here. She came with a fury too, no cramps or anything, but heavy. Also had my first ultrasound (u/s) to check how I respond to Lupron and if I could start stimming as we planned. It all came back clear. And .. of course my uterus healed perfectly and the Dr said "good choice on proceeding with this cycle". No thanks to him ... I don't hold grudges or anything.... So they gave me the green light to start stimming on 9/1/08 - Labor Day. I get to start Follistm and Repronex ... and continue with the Lupron. Three stabs a day! Who thought someday I'd be excited about that.
So, that's where we are on this IVF road so far. The Man is being so sweet through all of this and I'm so glad I'm responding well with zero effects. Now that I'm caught up on this post, I'll start filling in more detail about this journey.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Searching & Happiness
I'm breaking down and finally starting a blog. I've always thought about it, then thought - "nah, I'd never keep up on it." However, now that I've entered this world of IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and seen so many people I admire - typing away in blogs ... I decided what the hell. So, here I am - contemplating a name for a blog and typing away into cyberspace.
Searching & Happiness. I've never been that clever and I am not one to drag out a decision, so I took a lengthy 14 seconds and picked a name. I figure all of us are out there searching for something in this world. We all have these milestones (or tiny steps) in our lives where we are seeking something out ... we always hope it leads to happiness. For so long my searching was my independence (it didn't take too long) and now ... I'm searching for a baby. At other times in my life I'm searching for something ... a new job, an MBA, the perfect pair of shoes, a great handbag (always searching for this actually) ... we always seek these things out in the pursuit of happiness ... I WILL be happy if I can hunt that down and have it for myself. May we always search out these things, find them, be happy and search out the next triumph. Many would say ... be happy with what you have ... and make no mistake - I am a very happy person (annoyingly so actually - my friends would say). I just think there's nothing wrong with us shooting for the stars (even fallen tree leaves sometimes) and going after things to fulfill our lives even more.
Searching & Happiness. I've never been that clever and I am not one to drag out a decision, so I took a lengthy 14 seconds and picked a name. I figure all of us are out there searching for something in this world. We all have these milestones (or tiny steps) in our lives where we are seeking something out ... we always hope it leads to happiness. For so long my searching was my independence (it didn't take too long) and now ... I'm searching for a baby. At other times in my life I'm searching for something ... a new job, an MBA, the perfect pair of shoes, a great handbag (always searching for this actually) ... we always seek these things out in the pursuit of happiness ... I WILL be happy if I can hunt that down and have it for myself. May we always search out these things, find them, be happy and search out the next triumph. Many would say ... be happy with what you have ... and make no mistake - I am a very happy person (annoyingly so actually - my friends would say). I just think there's nothing wrong with us shooting for the stars (even fallen tree leaves sometimes) and going after things to fulfill our lives even more.
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